Today, I went to the Verizon because my phone was broken. It hadn't rang in 3 weeks. I hadn't gotten any text messages either. So, I got to the store they check out my phone. They told me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with my phone. No one had called me in 3 weeks. Then they charged me $30. FML

Today, I was on webcam with someone and the conversation died so I said "brb". I sat there for five minutes not realising I had left my webcam on. FML

Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple stops, he proceeds to get off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML